Archives For January 2013

First Contact

Fossil9 —  January 21, 2013 — 2 Comments

Many messages on Recon, GearFetish, and similar sites start out like the illustration above but relatively few conversations start out this way.  If you want to make the most out of your first contact with someone think about a few things before you send a message that simply says “hey”.  Nothing I list below should be a surprise to anyone, although these “details” often go overlooked.

  • Read the person’s profile – This is so simple and yet many people cannot be bothered to take a few minutes to actually read another’s profile.  Obviously a person’s profile can contain a significant amount of information that can help you determine if you are a good match.  When it is obvious that someone has not read any of the details of my profile it is an immediate turn off – I think my favorite question like this that I was recently asked was “Are you into bondage?”  My immediate thought after receiving that message was that I had no interest in chatting with this person.
  • What are you looking for out of this first contact?  Are you looking to chat, be friends, play, etc?  If you are just looking to see where things go know that it is likely that they will not go anywhere but that may be fine.
  • Find common ground – This should be fairly easy given that we all have some sort of interest in kink.  Most people enjoy talking about their interests others, even if they are not interested in playing.
  • Drive the conversation – This is where many conversations die.  Take it on yourself to drive the conversation but keep in mind my last point.
  • If mutual interest does not exist between the two of you then move on.  Do not take it personally just be an adult and move on. 

For Boundand’s more eloquent take on this topic head over to his blog


Fossil9 —  January 14, 2013 — 1 Comment

I have a habit of spitting on subs, in their mouths, and in their drinks.  In a scene it is fun but my favorite time to do it is out at a non-kinky bar.  I make sure people, including the sub, are watching me do it which is way to include a mild form of public humiliation into play.

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Spitting directly in a sub’s mouth during play is fun but generally they like it so much there’s noreal humiliation aspect to it.

Coming out of the cage

Fossil9 —  January 9, 2013 — 1 Comment

Subs in transition from one position to another turn me on, especially when I controlled the ‘before and after’ positions.  Enjoy!

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