A slave should not be terrified, but some anxiety is always good

Fossil9 —  May 21, 2012 — Leave a comment

The first time a dom and sub play together it is natural for both parties to feel some anxiety.  That being said, nothing really compares to the avalanche of feelings a sub has the first time he submits to someone he has not met in person before.  Normally it is a mix of anticipation, anxiety, nerves, and excitement.

I have become pretty good at getting a sub over the anxiety and into the headspace he came to enjoy.  The key to this is building trust with a sub and then respecting that trust.  Often times at the start of a session I will take time and slowly transition the sub from being clothed and unrestrained in public to being completely under my control.

The transfer of control starts when the sub meets at a predetermined location, in the case of the sub pictured below it was a public place.  Meeting at the location of my choosing made him slightly vulnerable but it was still a public place which would give him an “out” if he decided not to go forward with the scene.  The first significant transfer of control was when he got into my vehicle and surrendered his cellphone.  While he was more vulnerable in the vehicle he still had a fighting chance to escape if he needed it.  When we arrived back at our place he was led inside which brought him deeper into submission.  I subsequently led him into the playroom and stripped him.  At that point he was extremely vulnerable and the physical presence of my partner and I reaffirmed who was in control.  I decided to start by putting him in the cage.  Hearing the “click” of the lock the first time a sub is locked in a cage is always priceless.  I can only imagine how that sounds to the sub.  I wish the photo turned out better but, in spite of the blurriness, you can see the anxiety on his face.

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I want to point out that I always use a safeword with a new sub and the sub in this situation could have simply said it at any point during the session.  Had he said it the scene would have been adjusted or ended immediately.

Puppy Gear

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