One of the most common frustrations I see among new kinksters is their lack of gear. This post is for those that are looking to build a collection of gear.
When I was in college a good chunk of my disposable income went to new gear. I would work extra hours or cut back in other areas of my life in order to be able to spend more on gear. Looking back I wish I would have done some things slightly differently. I bought some low quality gear that was “ok” in the moment but lacked the quality and usefulness of the gear I buy today. My recommendations for you follow:
1. Define your interests:
Take some time to define the fundamental aspects of your fetish that interest you. Some of your interests will change over time but your core interests are most likely to stick with you in the long run. Are you most interested in power exchange? If so, a collar and leash may be good items to start out with. If you are interested in sensory deprivation a hood or a blindfold might be good for you.
It does not make sense to spend your gear budget on gear or interests that you think you might want to try. If pup play interests you but you have not tried it you can probably find better things to spend your money on than a pup hood. Find someone else to help you explore pup play with so you can make an informed decision later on about whether or not a pup hood would be right for you.
2. Evaluate your immediate situation
Be realistic with yourself about what your current situation is. How often will you be able to use your gear? Who will you be able to use your gear with?
If you are in a “vanilla’ relationship with intentions of getting your boyfriend to experiment with your fetish you will probably want to start with the basics. If you have kinky friends that have some gear you might not need to focus on the basics initially, you may be able to save up to get that hood or rubber suit that you have always wanted.
Be sure you are buying gear at a time that you will be able to put to immediate use. If you only get to play with others every few months it does not make sense for you to buy a hood that inhibits your breathing in any way. A hood like this should only be used when someone that you trust is able to monitor you while it is on. See Tynan’s post on this subject.
3. Plan for the future
After figuring out what your core interests are and determining what gear you can put to use it is time to start planning for the future. Five or ten years from now, do you want to have a large collection of gear? Assuming so, I recommend you sacrifice quantity for quality. With the right care most gear can last for many years. It will cost you less in the long-run to buy quality gear now than to buy a variety of low quality gear that will need to be replaced.
Over time people change, interests change, gear changes. As you accumulate your gear you will have the opportunity to better understand, and expand, your kinky interests. As you get a better understanding of your interests you can differentiate between what you think looks hot in pictures or video and what you actually want to do. Then you can buy the appropriate gear.
If you find that you have a piece of gear you do not use frequently consider looking for someone reputable to trade gear with. You might be able to net out better in a trade than simply selling your gear. Feel free to share your recommendations on buying gear in the comments below