Archives For Writings for Doms

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I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

The prior quote from Maya Angelou has been engrained in my brain since I first heard it back in 2008.  Some things that we hear really resonate with us, this quote resonated with me.  It applies both to non-kinky and kinky aspects of my life but I’ll keep it focused upon my scenes for purposes of this post.

When I Dom I am really looking for more than just locking a guy up and being able to have my way with him.  I want to share an experience with my partner and the sub.  It is hard to describe although I suspect most of you understand what I mean.  Taking our shared experience to another level requires a little forethought but that is true in most things in life.  Here are some of the things I may consider in advance of a scene to help create an experience:

  • Why am I interested in the sub?
  • What am I going to get out of our time?
  • What will the sub get out of it the session?
  • Why is he interested?
  • What is his experience?
  • What are his expectations?
  • What can I learn?

Each time with each sub will be different and some of these questions are more important at various times.  This helps me set up a framework for what I want to do during a scene but it will not give me a specific step by step plan for the scene.  During the flow of the scene my partner and I will adjust as necessary to maximize everyone’s enjoyment.  To be clear, this does not work every time and it will not work for everyone.  However, I have found investing a little bit of time up front has provided me with better experiences than leaving things to chance.

Duration Games

Fossil9 —  August 19, 2013 — 1 Comment

Duration games have many similarities to stress positions and, to many people, they are the same thing.  The main difference to me between a stress positions and a duration game is that I consider a stress position to be focused upon physical stress for a period of time (usually less than an hour).  In duration games physical stress may be part of the “game” or challenge for the sub but there is also a psychological aspect to it.  Duration games may start off (and even remain) in a physically comfortable manner for the sub with the Dom’s focus upon getting inside the sub’s head.  The Dom has the ability to control absolutely everything in the sub’s environment leading up to and during the game which can help him more easily accomplish this.

Duration games can last an indefinite period of time but generally the ones I arrange will come to an end during a scene or shortly their after.  While consequences are not required they are always fun to have out there to help motivate the sub to complete the challenge.

Illustrative Example #1:

Restrain your sub on a flat surface, like a bed, so he is unable to sit up or otherwise move.  Restrict his vision and put headphones or earbuds on him making sure he will not be able to get the headphones off.  Play a continuous loop of brown noise, white noise, or any other similar noise.  I like to vary the length of the different noises just so the sub cannot use the changes in the type of sound to estimate the amount of time he has been in the position.  You can also hook the sub up to electro on your favorite setting…maybe something that repeatedly builds up to a crescendo.  Generally I like to leave the sub untouched while like this but every once in awhile you may want to give a nice tug to his nipple or swat to his stomach so you know he is not asleep.  Obviously you should always be close enough that you could hear the sub’s safeword if he needed to be released.

Illustrative Example #2:

Long-term enforced chastity can be a duration game too.  The sub “endures” being in chastity for the duration of time dictated by the Dom.  Usually there are consequences for taking the chastity device off or the sub otherwise figuring out a way to get himself off.

Logic Games

Fossil9 —  July 29, 2013 — 3 Comments

Games are an important part of certain types of scenes that I enjoy. There will be more posts about ideas for games in the future; if these posts interest you check back and look for the “Games” tag below.  For purposes of this post I will focus upon logic games.

Logic Games
For a logic game you generally need only a few things. Obviously the main thing you need is the actual problem that will be given to the sub. This is pretty simple, for those of you that have studied for the GMAT, LSAT, or any similar exam you could probably pull plenty of problems to administer to the sub. You could also find some riddles or other brain teasers online. My preference is to make my own problems but it is certainly not necessary – a few simple illustrative problems are included below. Once you have the problem you need to figure out the conditions you want your sub to complete it under. What are you going to do with the sub prior to the game? What headspace will they be in? What are they going to wear? Are they going to be restrained? What will the environment be like that they are in?

Timing is another aspect that a Dom will want to control. Set the time-limit for the sub aggressively but allow enough time for the problem to be solved. It is more fun when the sub actually thinks he may be able to solve the problem in time. In order to get the most out of a problem set consequences if the sub fails to complete the problem in the allowed time. The risk of undesirable consequences can cause some anxiety in the sub which is usually fun. The Dom can also amp up the pressure as the sub is working on the problem – get inside the sub’s head while he is working on the problem and it will immediately become much more complicated.

Illustrative problem #1:

You have three boxes.  One box contains only collars, one contains only locks, and one contains both collars and locks.  The boxes were incorrectly labeled by a lazy sub such that no label correctly identifies the contents of the box it labels.  You are allowed to open just one box, and without looking in it, you remove an item from the box.  By looking at the item how do you correctly label all three of the boxes accurately?

Illustrative problem #2:

There are 27 coins and a two-pan balance. All coins have the same weight except for one, which is heavier than all others. All coins look identical. What is the minimum number of weighings required to certainly find the heaviest coin?

Illustrative problem #3:

Three pups in a cafe order a meal the total cost of which is $15. They each contribute $5. The waiter takes the money to the chef who recognizes the three pups as friends and asks the waiter to return $5 to the men.
The waiter is not only poor at mathematics but dishonest and instead of going to the trouble of splitting the $5 between the three he simply gives them $1 each and pockets the remaining $2 for himself.
Now, each of the pups effectively paid $4, the total paid is therefore $12. Add the $2 in the waiters pocket and this comes to $14…..where has the other $1 gone from the original $15?